Meet people where they are, not where you think they “should be” already.
Yield Theory and You
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Communication
How To Gain (And Lose) Credibility
Credibility is earned. The recipe for earning it isn't complex: Follow through with what you say, say things that are accurate, and live the message that...
How to Help Those Who Don’t Want It
For more than twenty years, my tagline has been, “There are two kinds of people in the world: People with issues and dead people.” It’s funny, but it’s true....
Why Understanding the Difference Between Advice-Givers and “Demanders” is Vital
There is a great difference between those who give advice and those who demand that their opinions and perspectives be adopted. Advice-givers genuinely offer...
Men Can Meet, but Mountains Never
A beautiful saying in Jewish traditions is, “Men can meet, but mountains never.” It means if two people view themselves with humility, they will easily be able to move closer toward each other. If two people see themselves as mountains, however, they will each...
You Don’t Really Want Answers to What You’re Asking
Once, there was a man who lost his keys. He looked for them frantically, and then in desperation cried out, "I just want to know where my keys are!" And a little girl who was standing nearby said, "I saw you drop them in that pile of manure." And the man looked, and...
“Just”
“Hey, ‘just’ do exactly what I say, and everything will be fine.” “I don’t know why people don’t ‘just’…..” “All you have to do is ‘just’… If you’ve ever been really angry and someone told you, “Just calm down,” you likely understand that it’s not a “just,” because...
You Want Praise, Not Feedback
One of the more fascinating human actions is asking for feedback. People ask frequently, "What do you think of...." But sometimes, what they mean is not actually, "What do you think?" but instead, "Tell me how this is great from your perspective." Which is funny. But...
Ask Dr. Conte: How Can I Get My Child to Listen to Me?
Hi, Dr. Conte, I have a three-year-old son (he will be 4 in January) who is very headstrong and very determined, but he's also very very intelligent. My problem is with getting him to listen to me when I tell him "no." He always talks back to me. What can I do to...