“Why is shame bad?” asked a student.
The teacher answered, “A man sat in the darkness of his prison, thought of his mistakes, and repeated to himself, ‘I’m not worthy. I can’t believe I did what I did. I don’t know why I did that. I hate myself.’
“Day after day, he sat in his prison and repeated the same things. The more he repeated those statements to himself, the more he hated himself. The more he hated himself, the more he lived in shame. ‘I’m not worthy,’ he thought, ‘of anything.’ The man drank his whiskey and listened to his self-loathing music day after day.”
“Wait a minute!” interrupted the student. “How did the man have access to whiskey and music in prison?”
“I never said the man was incarcerated,” replied the teacher. “We can allow ourselves to be imprisoned by shame. You asked why shame was ‘bad,’ but I don’t see it that way. Shame is not bad, but it is confining. Shame imprisons us in our own minds. The more we live in shame, the more we are confined to self-loathing, and the more we will act from a place of shame. The cycle can be a life sentence.
“Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone hurts others in some ways. The past is gone. We cannot change an instant of the past. Living in shame only keeps us imprisoned; and in prison, we are not free.”
“I understand,” replied the student.
“What do you understand?” asked the teacher.
“That I am worthy,” replied the student.
The teacher smiled.
