If you want to shed the anger you have toward others for slighting you, then consider taking some time to reflect on all the slights you’ve caused others.
Humility transforms self-righteousness.
We have a tendency to minimize the pain we cause others and maximize the pain they cause us. We judge ourselves by our intentions, but judge others by their actions – but maybe it’d be worth it for you to ask yourself in the midst of your anger toward others: Are you really okay with others holding onto the pain you’ve caused them in the same way you hold onto the anger from how they’ve “wronged” you?
If the thought, “But what I’ve done was different…” or “At least I never…” crosses your mind, then it’s probably wise for you to understand – uncomfortable as it might be – that you are living in darkness and self-righteousness.
We are all human. We all mess up. Life is short. Let go of your anger. How? Focus on light and goodness and gratitude and compassion and helping others. Actively focus on what you want. Your focus is shaped by your thoughts. Although it’s probably not neurologically possible to “ignore” things, it is absolutely possible to actively direct your focus onto the good. It will take effort, sure. It will take practice, sure. It might be tough until you get better at it, sure. But it’s possible. We master what we practice.
Let go of your anger – or hold onto it – the choice is yours. Live in the light of awareness or in the dark of ignorance; again, the choice is yours.
When people find out I specialize in anger management, they sometimes say things like, “Man the world needs anger management right now, but you’ll never change people’s anger.” I reply, “You’re right, but I will change me. I will work on being a better person every day. I will clean on my own mistakes. I will focus my own thoughts on compassion and light. I will practice the peace I want to see in the world. I will practice it until I become that peace. And then I will give better energy to the world. I will give better content to the world.”
Agree with this, or not. Live in anger, or not. Spew hatred and negativity and justify it, or not. Rally people to hate who you hate, or not. Minimize the pain you’ve caused, or not. Play the “yes- but” game, or not. Let your self-righteousness fool you, or not. Live in love and compassion, or not. The choice is always yours.
I see people every day who are trapped in anger. I see people every day holding onto proverbial hot coals to throw at others, but burning themselves instead. I interact with people regularly who contribute negativity and gossip and pain to the world, all while blaming everyone else and minimizing their own role in the content and story of this world.
Here’s an awakening reality: You, me, and every other living person on this planet right now are creating and contributing to the content that comprises the energy of the world in which we all live.
I daydream about a world in which we all clean on ourselves. I daydream about a world where we all try harder; where we focus solely on owning responsibility for ourselves and being kinder and more compassionate toward others. A world where our motto is, “Work on yourself, help everyone else.” That is the kind of world our children deserve. It’s the kind of world you deserve. It’s the kind of world we all deserve.
